How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize