So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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