so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
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For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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