If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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