i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
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Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize