Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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