yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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