Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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