At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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