Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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