She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
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Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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