His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize