he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize