don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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