I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
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I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
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Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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