Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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