i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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