She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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