YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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