Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I love you. Go after that dick
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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