Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
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In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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