idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize