HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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