i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
FUCK WHALES
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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