Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize