I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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