Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize