i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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