where am i from again
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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