We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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