10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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