Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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