I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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