Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
His nipple licking is glorious
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