just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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