oh god the rape fog is back!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize