Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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