Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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