I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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