You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize