I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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