The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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