I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
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