so explain again why im purple
no
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
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I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
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I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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