I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize