he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Success! We fucked roommates!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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