I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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