I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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