I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
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How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
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His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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