O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize